It was hard to leave

I really really really did not want to leave Key West.

It's been a long time since I truly had a vacation with no worries no problem and no commitment.

K and I flew first class to Miami where we grabbed a mustang convertible and headed for the drive through the Florida Keys. We stopped for a great lunch and mojitos in Islamorada. And then we headed right in to the incredibly lavish casamarina hotel. Let the pampering begin!!!

We met a great couple from VA. And had some of the absolutely most scrumptious meals.

So here are some snip its from the vacay!!

Of course in the Florida Keys.. they celebrate Christmas just a tiny bit different than the rest of the world.. no snow.. but we did have a bubble machine running non stop to mimic the effect of snow on the beach..

Here is a glimpse of the paradise..

and then there was this guy chillin

We did some crazy stuff..
Like jet skiing 50 miles an hour out in the gulf and flipping over!!!

And then we went deep sea fishing

What would deep sea fishing be unless you caught a champion fish

and VOILA.. here is what K caught

We did up Duvall street a few nights and on the last night we took a catamaran sunset cruise.. we had perfect and I mean  absolutely perfect weather.

And now we are home .. can you say Weather Shock!!!  WHAAA.. I want to go back.

On the NSV side, I wore my swim suit proudly and looked great!!

Hugs to all and a belated Happy Holidays??

Busy, Busy.. BUSY BEEEEEE

yep, that's me...
I have been running in circles just trying to stay on top of things.

I have taken a few days vacation and have packed them with all kinds of fun things from home repairs, to mani/pedi appt and hair appt.

Christmas is going to be very understated, quiet and reserved this year.. and that's OK, its actually how I want it to be.

 On the weight loss front. UGH...  I gotta lay off on the celebration.. this weekend I had friends over and all we did was eat drink and be merry... at this pace, I will be casting for Mrs. Santa Claus.. jeans are TIGHT.. the band .. not so much..

I am still being faithful to my gym PT workouts.. my butt cheeks hurt from squats.. so I am hoping that I make it through the holiday with minimal collateral damage..

I am not sure if I will get to posting before the Christmas holiday.. if I don't I want to wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS.. I will definitely post before the new year.. headin' south baby!!!

The Gym Weight Gain Syndrome

Can you relate to this??
I am busting my butt at the gym and am now 5lbs up!!!
To put it mildly....
wTF
I know what it is that is causing the gain but I just hate seeing the number go up on the scale.
I figure that the shock of new muscles being used is playing havoc on my body.
New muscle is being built while existing muscles are being challenged

I know if I give it some time I wil see that scale start to move in the right direction

So that's the thing. I know all of this and I still fret!!!

Why??

Cause I want it now. I want results now.
Geez. It just doesn't work that way.

Back to the gym tomorrow.
I think I am liking this.

Hugs

Need the Green Jacket

How I knew I would dread these next two months
My mind has been racing these past few days
Completely revisiting last year
Where we were
What was going on
And how terribly bad Mark suffered

A total blanket of sadness surrounds me and weighs on me

I can only think to reach for Marks Green Jacket

I need that memory and the comfort of his arms

I know it is a happy season for all. I don't mean to take away from the beauty of the season. Its just not for me anymore.

I will never be able to associate this time of year with joy.

I just will not be able to leave the memory of Marks last days
And by the thoughts of how Mark suffered.

I wish you could all have known him

My sweet loving gentle Mark.

How I cherish his green jacket.

I miss his voice. And his goodnight kisses.

There will never be another Mark.

TUMMY TUCK CONSULT

Today was my trip to see Dr. M.

Dr. M, brought Thelma and Louise into my life and has been tweaking soem of the fine lines and onset of aging issues.

Today was a maintenance treatment and my TT consult.

He took some picture of T and L, as it is almost 6 months since their arrival.
I asked him what he thought.. and he nodded his head and said what do you think?

He took the 6 months photos and then proceeded to take my TT BEFORE photos.

My biggest question to him was.. what are you going to do with the port as you yank and pull those stomach muscles together...
Hmmm.. he said I would need to go in for an MRI so he could see exactly what we are dealing with the band and port positioning.. 
So thats where we are.. next step MRI.

I am looking at mid January for the procedure.. which he estimates will be a three month hanging in for recovery.  I still have all of the literature to read.. but I am ready.

I continue to go to the gym and work out with my trainer.. Um.. did I tell you I am actually 2 lbs UP!!! WTF.. that was discouraging to see.

On a different note, I finally got my PMD .. personal microderm machine.
ITs awesome.. as some of you know I am a spa junkie and a skin care junkie.
The PMD is not exactly like going to anestitician,  BUT.. it really does do a good job.

I was a big aggressive, but as long as you do a moisturizing follow up.. I think you are OK.

IT states to do it once a week and I am going to stick by that..

Alrighty.. that's about it from my part of the world.

Be well

Hugs

My Heart is Smiling

Honestly..

I feel guilty about it.. but I am happy.
Last night K told me that I am beautiful.
SMILE
He said that I am even more beautiful without make up than with make up.
SMILE
He said that he is the happiest he has been in the last 15 years
SMILE

He said his goal in life is to make me smile and make me happy.

BIG SMILE

I have never lived alone

When I look back on my years, it has dawned on me that I never lived alone.
From childhood, to college years, through marriage, I always lived with someone.
That is up until this year.

That's alot of years of knowing that another voice would be near by, in the next room, just a shout away.

I thought I would fear being alone.
But I don't
At first it seemed devastating
Hard to accept or acknowledge

It kind of went hand in hand with always putting someone in front of my own needs
now both of those factors have been removed from my life.

I dont need to think about where to put the christmas tree or what day to bake cookies or where to hid the presents.
Nope.. dont need to do that..

It's me now.
I have no one to answer to
No need to please anyone

Its sort of a second time around.
Just me.. figuring out how I want to do it over again.

I would have obviously preferred to not be in this position
But I can not change the path life has sent me down.

I am here now..

I have never lived alone

Its kind of quiet

But peaceful

Shut the Front Door!!!

Guess who has become a little gym Junkie...
ME

and Guess who is all about the steam room

ME!!

Ok, have you all frequented the steam room..
Um I am a novice.. but have come to find there must be some unwritten ettiquette to sitting in that room sweating.

I think it all starts in the prep for the sweat.
In the locker room I grab two towels
One for the bench and one to stretch across Thelma and Louise.
Of course the un garbing is an event in its self, because at some point you are stark naked.

Yeah..
That was me on Friday, as this little 80 year old lady sat across from me watching me undress.

Um.. that was creepy.. and I swear I heard her say WOW when the bra came off.. more creepiness.
So I sashayed my way to the steam room set the timer and entered.

Placed my towel (damn I should have brought 2 towels) on the bench and proceed to figure out how to sit and get myself situated so as to not offend anyone entering.

I surveyed the room (which was totally empty) and tried to figure where to position myself.

I didnt want to be the first thing new arrivals would see as they enter.

ugh.. all of this thought for a steam room.

I worried that the napkin size towel would keep Thelma and Louise in place and if I crossed my legs tight enough it would all be ok.. ugh.. why didnt I take 4 towels..

As I finally got myself situated.. the steam Filled the room, and FILLED THE ROOM to the point that I could only see 2 inches in front of my hand.

It wouldnt matter if a SWAT team entered.. no one was going to see me or any of my glory at this point..

I waited .. thinking OK.. what does one do while sweating in a steam room.
I mean there is NO music
No anything.. just the hiss of steam filling the room.

My mind was racing and then I thought to myself WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
This is supposed to be relaxing ..

Your mind is NOT supposed to race a million miles a minute.

Sit back
ReLAX
Enjoy.

Live in the moment silly girl
Live in this and in every moment.