Up, Down and ALL Around

It's Thursday!!!
I think I am going to survive the week!

Right now I have so much going on in my life and on my  mind.

First, I had a really great B-day... hey, it's not all that bad being a year older.
Next, work is just driving me insane.. so much going on and so much travel coming up.

The blessing is that the weather (YTD) has been a non event. Thank You GOD!!
Last year at this time, I think that many of us on the east coast where just besides ourselves.
I know I was!!

I am still going to the gym, trying to knock off the last 25 lbs.
I seem to go down 5 lbs and then back up 5lbs.. one big roller coaster ride (sounds familiar doesn't it Sandy?)

I think maybe the peanut M&M's could potentially be a hindrance in the scale reduction.. oh well!

I am also in the process of planning my vacations for the year.
Phillies Spring Training in the Spring in Clearwater Florida
To Miami in April.. with a side trip to the Keys (hmm I love the Keys and see a Key in my future home site appointment).

To a wonderful lake in NH in July and off to Canada in August and back to Key West in December.

Sprinkle in some work related training and you can tell that my luggage is going to get some miles on them this year!!

On a deeply personal note:
January will present the date of the first anniversary of Mark's death, January 26th.. We actually had thunder snow last year on that date!
I know I interweave my feelings with my posts; and that should be no surprise. Mark was my life for 35 years... I miss him terribly. I yearn for him to come to me in my dreams.. it happens so infrequently.. I just want to hear his voice.. I still wear his green jacket.  I still try to cling on to his scent with certain articles of clothes.   It's still hard.. I don't want his physical memory to fade.. and it will never fade in my heart.

Big Exhale... and sigh!

So, this old gal, is determined to pick up the pieces, engage, enjoy and embrace
Boy I hope I don't sound too idealistic..
I thrive on structure.
But I am also finding the little hidden surprises in life to be a delight.

To be very open and frank.. it is amazing how, at this point in my life, how much life I have not experienced.  How differently love is expressed and experienced.. having been in a very long term relationship and then to be with someone who was also in a very long term relationship, it amazes me how two people view love and express it (similarities, but differences).  I thought Love is love.. whats to be different about it!!

It has become evident to me, that I have made my life so complex, that it has been a blessing  to see simplicity.
It amazes me that it even exists! 
How can you not have every aspect of your life planned out to the minute.. but some can live that way..

So, in summary,  you can see the bitter and sweet in this post, having lost the love of my life and to have found someone who makes me happy... its a very difficult emotion to put into place...

I have a feeling that life has a few more surprises in store for me..

stay tuned.