Need the Green Jacket

How I knew I would dread these next two months
My mind has been racing these past few days
Completely revisiting last year
Where we were
What was going on
And how terribly bad Mark suffered

A total blanket of sadness surrounds me and weighs on me

I can only think to reach for Marks Green Jacket

I need that memory and the comfort of his arms

I know it is a happy season for all. I don't mean to take away from the beauty of the season. Its just not for me anymore.

I will never be able to associate this time of year with joy.

I just will not be able to leave the memory of Marks last days
And by the thoughts of how Mark suffered.

I wish you could all have known him

My sweet loving gentle Mark.

How I cherish his green jacket.

I miss his voice. And his goodnight kisses.

There will never be another Mark.