I have never lived alone

When I look back on my years, it has dawned on me that I never lived alone.
From childhood, to college years, through marriage, I always lived with someone.
That is up until this year.

That's alot of years of knowing that another voice would be near by, in the next room, just a shout away.

I thought I would fear being alone.
But I don't
At first it seemed devastating
Hard to accept or acknowledge

It kind of went hand in hand with always putting someone in front of my own needs
now both of those factors have been removed from my life.

I dont need to think about where to put the christmas tree or what day to bake cookies or where to hid the presents.
Nope.. dont need to do that..

It's me now.
I have no one to answer to
No need to please anyone

Its sort of a second time around.
Just me.. figuring out how I want to do it over again.

I would have obviously preferred to not be in this position
But I can not change the path life has sent me down.

I am here now..

I have never lived alone

Its kind of quiet

But peaceful